Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Homosexuality is Innate, Fundementalism is a Choice
In last Sunday’s paper, (a local yokel), after referring to homosexuality as a chosen addiction, went on to portray loving parents as people who guide their children away from harmful lifestyles (such as homosexuality, drugs and alcohol). The comparison made me dizzy.
My husband and I are very hands on parents. We have always talked to our children about every subject as early as they could comprehend it, including drugs, booze, religion and sexuality. The thing I fear the least is their sexuality. We know our children are sexual beings. As babies and toddlers they were fascinated with not only their fingers and toes but also their genitalia. They were born with this fascination. Sexuality, like the drive of hunger and thirst, is innate behavior.
While some religions teach parenting that includes repression of the sexual urge, ours does not. We tend to believe that repression leads to perversion and dysfunction. We believe in sex education, teaching the difference between public and private sexual behaviors, postponing intercourse until emotionally maturity can catch up with the sex drive, and that sexual orientation is a non-issue. We consider sexual orientation to be an innate behavior and we have already answered the question numerous times, “Would you still love me if I were gay?” with a genuine “Yes, of course!”
I cannot, however, be as comfortable with the question, “If I become a fundamentalist Christian, will you still love me?” To that I have to answer, “Yes, BUT…”, followed by a litany of reasons why they should avoid such a conversion. As a loving parent, I have tried to safeguard my children against brainwashing and blindly accepting anything coming out of a pulpit. I have repeatedly urged my children to question the teachings of fundamentalism and pointed out the flaws in the logic, and the inconsistencies in the application. We teach them to question authority and its motives and to see shades of gray. We encourage our children to explore science, philosophy and higher education, all of these the anti-venom against fundamentalism. We wish them to become who they are, who they were born to be, not to fit into a social sarcophagus built by a church. You see, fundamentalism is a choice, a choice often made out of fear and insecurity, and for some it’s a powerful addiction. Who we are, including our sexuality, is innate.
My husband and I are very hands on parents. We have always talked to our children about every subject as early as they could comprehend it, including drugs, booze, religion and sexuality. The thing I fear the least is their sexuality. We know our children are sexual beings. As babies and toddlers they were fascinated with not only their fingers and toes but also their genitalia. They were born with this fascination. Sexuality, like the drive of hunger and thirst, is innate behavior.
While some religions teach parenting that includes repression of the sexual urge, ours does not. We tend to believe that repression leads to perversion and dysfunction. We believe in sex education, teaching the difference between public and private sexual behaviors, postponing intercourse until emotionally maturity can catch up with the sex drive, and that sexual orientation is a non-issue. We consider sexual orientation to be an innate behavior and we have already answered the question numerous times, “Would you still love me if I were gay?” with a genuine “Yes, of course!”
I cannot, however, be as comfortable with the question, “If I become a fundamentalist Christian, will you still love me?” To that I have to answer, “Yes, BUT…”, followed by a litany of reasons why they should avoid such a conversion. As a loving parent, I have tried to safeguard my children against brainwashing and blindly accepting anything coming out of a pulpit. I have repeatedly urged my children to question the teachings of fundamentalism and pointed out the flaws in the logic, and the inconsistencies in the application. We teach them to question authority and its motives and to see shades of gray. We encourage our children to explore science, philosophy and higher education, all of these the anti-venom against fundamentalism. We wish them to become who they are, who they were born to be, not to fit into a social sarcophagus built by a church. You see, fundamentalism is a choice, a choice often made out of fear and insecurity, and for some it’s a powerful addiction. Who we are, including our sexuality, is innate.
